What I Would Give to See You Again Read online

  He sniffed. That’s right, she gave me mulled wine. I forgot about it. Itembe hadn’t been joking about getting all the details right.

  She laid her kitchen rag on the arm of the chair for him. “Here, you’re sopping wet. I’ll go and get some of my father’s clothing for you to change into. You have to get dry or you’ll become sick.”

  He clasped the warm mug between his hands, its hardness verifying he was in some sort of reality. A nostalgic smile touched his lips. “Thank you. You truly are an angel.” He could have been anyone, a rapist or murderer. But she had such a compassionate heart that he knew she never thought of any danger, never thought to be wary.

  She should have been.

  Because a few short hours from now was when he’d taken her life.

  Chapter Three

  When she returned from upstairs with a pile of clothes in her hands, his hair was beginning to drip on the rich fabric of the chair. He set the mug down on the side table and stood to take the clothes from her.

  She skimmed his face with her gaze as she handed them over. “You look familiar for some reason. Have we met before?”

  It pleased him just as much this time as last time that she remembered. “Yes,” he said his throat tightening with emotion, “We have. My name is Ahram. We met as children many years ago in Egypt. You had gone with your father on an archaeological dig.” When I was still human. It was later, at the age of twenty, that Ahram had been given Osiris’s gift of immortality.

  Her fair brown eyebrows rose in disbelief. “Ahram? Is it really you?”

  He could see a flicker of memory in her eyes as she scanned his face again. Probably trying to connect his current features with his childhood ones. He’d worked at the site as a laborer with his father. But often there were stretches of time when there wasn’t very much to do. Both fathers, it seemed, had been glad he and Angelina kept each other distracted so they could turn their attention to more important things. Neither of their mothers had been there and they’d had all the freedom they could wish for to play together at the site.

  “I remember you. It’s just…you look so different,” Angelica said. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

  He smiled down at her, into those warm brown eyes shot with green. If he could stand here forever, lost in their goodness, it would be heaven. “First, let me change my clothes. I’m dripping all over your nice things. Then I’ll tell you everything.”

  In the bathroom he took care not to move too quickly. A human would not have been able to change their clothes in two seconds flat the way he could. He checked his reflection in the mirror. His hair was stiff, twisted, and pointing in various directions. He slid his fingers through the damp strands, trying to arrange them in a more respectable fashion. He pulled off his wet shirt and a flicker of gold caught his eye. He reached up and fingered the Ankh, a cross with a circular head, that he wore on a chain about his neck.

  He’d completely forgotten about it, and wondered many times where he’d lost it. Serapis had given it to him to remind him that he was now one of Osiris’s chosen and that he was to go forward and live forever as free of sin in his immortal life as he had in his mortal one.

  Except he’d failed…

  He put on the clean shirt then lifted the collar to his nose to sniff at her lingering scent. It held the comforting richness of kitchen scents mixed with the sweetness of pheromones. They were like peaches ripening in the sun. It made him feel nostalgic…and hungry.

  His blood lust thrust to the forefront of his mind; the vivid thought of how tempting and tasty she was; the sensation of his fangs sinking into her creamy white neck, and the rich metallic wetness of her blood flowing over his tongue.

  Ahmed clenched his fists, and fought the instinct down. He’d forgotten how strong it had been when he was this young. At this vampire age—five years old—it was a force that had the power to overrule his will. Serapis had stayed close to him from the beginning, teaching him how to control it, so he didn’t kill those he fed on. Life being resurrected from life. It was Osiris’s way. The blessing of immortality came with a maintenance cost.

  When he walked back into the living room, Angelica glanced up at him from where she knelt stoking the fire. The flickering flames cast a rosy glow on her face highlighting the features that he cherished. She had a full wide lips, round smooth cheeks, and eyes that, though tilted down at the corners, always looked hopeful and happy.

  “Dinner is almost ready,” she said. “I’m glad you’re here. I don’t think my father and brother will make it back tonight. Some of the roads might be blocked.” Her brows scrunched together with worry and she rose. She wrapped her arms around herself and spoke again, her tone brighter as if trying to put her fears aside. “I wonder what my father would say if he saw you.”

  “I doubt he would remember me. I was just a laborer after all.”

  “Not to me.” A charming blush filled her cheeks and she busied herself pulling the green shawl from her shoulders and folding it.

  The words must have slipped out of their own accord. It struck him now that she must have been thinking about him for a long time to even admit such a thing. Women of this time were modest. It pleased him to imagine that he had been on her mind even after so many years.

  “You were special to me, too,” he said.

  She beamed a tentative smile at him then ducked her head and moved to sit on the couch. Ahram went and sat next to her.

  “So, how did you end up all the way out here?” she asked.

  “I was hunting with a good friend of mine, Serapis. We were separated and then I got a bit lost. It’s a miracle I stumbled across a house and that it was yours.” The words, though the truth, could easily be interpreted by Angelica as something more normal than what had really happened. Withholding portions of what had occurred wasn’t really a lie, but his conscience cringed nonetheless.

  “That’s terrible. We should be out looking for him,” she said.

  Her consideration for his friend caused a warmth to spread in his chest. He glanced at the window. Outside, the last rays of sunlight were fading. “It’s too late now. We can’t go out in the dark in this weather. Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s all right, probably back at the campsite already. He’s much better at navigating the wilderness than I am. I have no doubt he’ll track me down in the morning and then be jealous that I spent the night in a warm house.”

  Still, she looked concerned. “I hope he’s all right. People are claimed by the mountains every year.”

  He changed the subject, not wanting her to worry about his immortal friend. “I can’t believe how you’ve changed.” He skimmed her form with his gaze. “Such a beautiful woman. Are you married?”

  She shook her head, the pink color in her face revealing how rarely people told her such things. “No.”

  “Someone special in town maybe?”

  She fidgeted with the material of her skirt. “No. No one.”

  He remembered why but knew she would tell him later. He continued in a different direction not wanting her to feel uncomfortable. “Do you remember how we used to play in the tunnels?”

  A grin touched her lips. “I think my mother would have killed my father had she known. We could have been lost in there forever.”

  “I knew my way around.”

  Her laughter tinkled forth as open and honest as chimes in the wind. “You always said you did, and I trusted you. It was stupid of me.”

  Together they had explored many of the passages, pretending to be adventurers, pausing to stare in awe at the symbols and drawings carved into the walls.

  “Thank goodness our lanterns never ran out of oil.”

  “I would have gotten us back, even in the dark,” he bragged, wanting to hear her laugh again.

  “I still remember you scaring me to death.” Her tone was wry but the humor in her eyes contradicted it.

  “That’s right. You gave the shrillest scream I’ve ever heard in my entire life,
” he teased. He had taken some discarded animal bones and things that the archaeologists hadn’t thought so important and had stuck them beneath her blankets one night. When she awoke she found herself snuggling with a skull. “My father was very angry with me, but it was worth it.”

  “You’re lucky I forgave you.”

  Ahmed felt transported back to when they used to banter as children. “Very lucky,” he agreed. “And also glad your father didn’t fire us. We needed the money.”

  “To this day, my mother regrets allowing me to go with my father on that expedition. She says it’s made me adventurous. But I don’t care, it was one of the best summers of my life.”

  From the way that she was looking at him, Ahram knew that it mostly had to do with him. He felt the same way about her. He reached over and clasped her slender fingers in his hand. They were soft and delicate. He could imagine himself kissing the tip of each finger and then the palm as she stared at him with those innocent eyes.

  She tightened her fingers around his and a cord of heightened awareness suspended them in time. He lifted his other hand to stroke her soft cheek highly aware that, while none of this was real, it still felt very much so. Her skin was smooth and the firelight brought out the many fine shades of color in her hair, almost giving her a halo, which was fitting. He’d always thought of her as a soul pure enough to pass even the most rigorous of examinations by the forty-two judges in the Hall of Two Truths. Someone as good and kind as Angelica would have surely been welcomed by Osiris into his kingdom after her death.

  Then his mind shifted and he became acutely aware of the blood flowing beneath her skin. His thirst spiked and he swallowed back the venom forming in his mouth. He pulled his hands away, sorry for the confused look she gave at his abrupt motion. His reserves were very low. He and Serapis had traveled for a long stretch devoid of humans and had been relieved to arrive at the last town. They’d barely begun feeding when they were interrupted by the other vampires. The small amount of blood Ahmed had drawn had sustained him on his flight through the mountains. But now, he was again approaching the danger zone. He had to feed soon.

  “What about you, Ahram? Do you have a wife back in Egypt? What do you do now? I still don’t understand how you came to be here, in Austria. It’s quite a journey.” The questions came rushing out as if she had been holding them in.

  He shook his head. “No. No wife.”

  Her gaze, which had been intent on his face, relaxed. The tension left her brow and the corners of her eyes. “Oh.” Her relief at his answer was evident.

  “My friend, Serapis, wanted to see more of the world, and he invited me to accompany him. You’d like him; he’s an adventurer, too.”

  She grinned. “I don’t know what my mother means by that. Aside from the one time in Egypt I really haven’t been outside of Austria. I just wonder what it’s like, how other people live, you know?”

  He knew very well. When he’d become immortal he’d been filled with the same wanderlust as Serpis. The world and their lives as immortals were now a never ending journey because, with how quickly things changed, each place they visited would be new by the time they revisited it in the future. The Earth was now a wondrous playground and Ahram was always interested in seeing what came next.

  “We sailed across the sea and then along the coast to get as far inland as we could.” He described the journey to her, wanting to share all they’d seen, knowing she would appreciate it. He gave her many details of the sights, sounds, and people that they’d come across as they’d stopped along the coasts of Turkey, Greece, and Italy. And how it was to travel with few possessions and be away from home for so long.

  She listened to him, her attention unwavering. “How wonderful and freeing it all sounds,” she said. “I wish I could have been with you.”

  His thirst under his waning control again, he dared to lace his fingers through hers once more and to deviate from the conversation they’d had so many years ago. Then, he’d been tentative in his words. But this time, the truth in his heart had to be unbound. This was the whole reason he was here.

  “You were,” he said. He tapped the left side of his chest with their clasped hands. “In here, every step of the way.”

  She didn’t pull away. Her fingers stayed curled around his, and her pink lips parted.

  “I have to confess something, Angelica. I’ve never forgotten about you. As a boy, I remembered having feelings for you that were more than friendship, not that I could have said what they were. But seeing you now, I know it was the real thing. I loved you then and I still do now. I was really the one who pushed for this trip, not Serapis. I thought, if we came here, I might be lucky enough to find you. And I was, though in a completely unexpected way.”

  She blinked rapidly and lifted the shawl from beside her to blot at the tears squeezing from the corners of her eyes. “This has to be a dream.” She sniffled. “You being here so suddenly…saying all the words I’ve imagined you saying.” She took in a shaky breath and looked up at him. “I never married because of you, you know.”

  Ahram felt again the overwhelming surge of love that consumed him. It was twice now what it had been before because of all the longing he’d stored up for her over the past century. It was a tidal wave of emotion. He drew her into his arms and kissed her soft lips, felt her full breasts press against his chest, again memorizing the precious feel of her and the sensation of her lips against his. Unexpectedly, she parted her lips for him and their tongues slid against each other. Ah, she tasted so wonderful…delicious…

  He broke the kiss.

  “My angel,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her forehead. He forced himself to focus on her and the wonderful way she made him feel while forcing his fangs to sheath themselves and swallowing more venom.

  Her smile was blissful. “I can’t help thinking that this is fate.”

  “It is. It truly is.” He meant it with all of his existence. Being with her again had been a crazy possibility he’d reached for. It was the desperate last resort of a suicidal man that had made him call the number on the ad of a crumpled magazine page.

  “I imagined this moment many times but never thought it would happen,” she said.

  “Me either.” He reached into the collar of the shirt he wore, pulled the Ankh from where it lay resting against his chest, lifted the gold chain over his head, and then settled it around her neck. He hadn’t done this the first time around. But he wanted to do something nice for her, romantic. And since there wasn’t anywhere he could get flowers right now, his old necklace would have to do. “Here. I want you to have this. May it protect you and bring you as much good fortune as it has me.” The sight of her wearing something of his filled him with satisfaction.

  She fingered the symbol, pleased. “Thank you. I remember this. It’s the Ankh, right? But I don’t remember what it stands for.”

  “It means life,” he said. “And you deserve a long and happy one.”

  Her radiant smile was a balm to the sharp, tearing hunger that was becoming more persistent. The staccato pricks of it increasing like the barking of a ferocious dog as it draws nearer.

  “I’d better get dinner from the oven or it will burn,” she said reluctantly and moved toward the kitchen.

  “Okay. I’ll go outside and bring in more wood for the fire.”

  It was with great relief that he slipped out the door. It was time for this vacation to end. He’d gotten what he came for, the glorious wonder-filled moment of two people’s souls coming together, uniting in the truth of their love. The snow-covered house with its fire, and the scent of dinner cooking, and Anglica’s love shining through her eyes would be what he thought of as he took his life, like the last cigarette of a man facing execution. It wouldn’t really be execution though, more like a welcome release from a life where she didn’t exist. He had lived once hundred and thirty years too long already, trying to make amends, trying to fill the void left behind by her love.

  He was re
ady now.

  Chapter Four

  As Ahram stepped into the cool night, images of what happened after this moment washed over him in a flood. He had successfully fought the blood thirst all through dinner and been able to enjoy being with her again. The meal had been magical, full of laughter and meaningful looks and touches. It had gotten late so they’d gone upstairs to go to bed. After a few more stolen kisses in the hallway they had parted ways, going to sleep in separate rooms. Ahram had treated Angelica with the respect she deserved. In his room, he’d locked the door and lay down on the bed, but he hadn’t slept.

  He’d thought he could continue to control his craving through the night. But it had grown stronger and stronger, his sensitive hearing marking every beat of her heart in the other room as though it were a drum. The lush sounds it made as it pushed her blood through her body became a torture he couldn’t resist. It called to him with the promise of sweet bliss the way drugs seduced an addict.

  In the end, he hadn’t been strong enough to fight it the entire night. If he’d fed on her sooner, like any other victim, he probably wouldn’t have killed her. But he’d been unwilling to. It would have meant her knowing what he was. What if he repulsed her? What if she never wanted to see him again? His will ended up being too weak to keep himself under control until morning, and it took over the way subconscious bodily functions did to make him do what he’d fought against doing the whole night. It was in a haze of consciousness that he’d removed the furniture he’d stacked against the door as a ward against himself. There was a click in the silence as he’d unlocked it, and then soft footfalls as he’d gone into her room. What happened next had plagued his soul ever after.

  He hadn’t been able to stop.

  It wasn’t until she was completely drained of blood that he’d withdrawn his fangs and looked into her blank staring eyes now hollow against the backdrop of her white face, seen how he’d unknowingly crumpled her body like a tissue with his vampire strength during his feeding frenzy. Some of her major bones were broken as evidenced by the unnatural twisted positions of her arms and torso.